Fatalist
by xxilluminaxx
Summary: 'Fatalism.' Craig had repeated. 'Yep,' Tweek responded, finally turning to gaze at him with a small, meek smile, 'I kinda believe in it too… And I guess I feel like it takes some of the –ah!- stress away from making big decisions, y'know.' In which Craig has a small crisis and seeks help from a twitchy and somewhat reluctant friend early in the morning. Post Pandemic/The Startling.


**Fatalist**

Another character study, this time on Craig and, to a lesser extent, Tweek, with mentions of the 'Pandemic' two-parter. I hope you enjoy! ^_^

**Disclaimer**:_ I do not own South Park, it is owned by Matt Stone and Trey Parker._

* * *

If there is one thing Craig Tucker hates above everything else, its unpredictability, closely followed by ambiguity. The idea of having no control over what was happening or having to compromise after constructing a plan filled the child with an unnecessarily large amount of stress and dread. So naturally, Craig Tucker _liked_ to have control. Therefore, he constructed a rigid routine and was fiercely resistant, or even hostile, to anyone who dared to try and change it. "Boring" was completely fine with him because, to him, it _wasn't _boring, it was just…_normal_. Nothing wrong with that.

Others may argue, but he was content with things the way they were.

Maybe that was why the events in Peru had left him so downhearted. After all, being forcefully reminded of the fact that he could not control every little thing that happened to him was really just one huge slap in the face to the young boy. Apparently, Fate had called out to him and, as much as he tried to metaphorically flip Fate off through his defiance, it was having none of that and things happened as the prophecy (apparently) said anyway. "Fatalism" Tweek had casually told him it was called soon after Craig had returned from Peru and ranted about his misfortunes with his three best friends.

'Fatalism?' Craig had repeated, frowning at the other boy who hadn't even looked up from the thermos filled with coffee that was clutched in his trembling hands. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clyde and Token exchange a look and shrug to each other at the usually quiet boy's insight, which gave him some relief, he wasn't the only one left confused.

'Yep,' Tweek responded, finally turning to gaze at him with a small, meek smile, 'I kinda believe in it too… And, I…I guess I feel like it takes some of the –ah!- stress away from making big decisions, y'know? 'C-Cause that way I know that whatever happens was definitely _meant_ to happen…'

Craig had nodded slowly, thinking he understood but still failing to see why Tweek would see it as anything other than an annoyance and a giant middle finger to the face. As poor as Craig's understanding of irony was, even he caught onto this incident with it.

He also couldn't understand why the idea of having some cosmic force literally throwing whatever surprises they wanted at you didn't terrify Tweek like it did to him (though, maybe if he put it that way in front of the blonde, it would). Yes, Craig had been raised in a Catholic family. Yes, he attended church every Sunday, but perhaps the very _idea_ of a cosmic entity affecting his life this way had never really _sank in_ before.

Plus, wasn't God supposed to have given everybody freewill?

If that was the case then surely he himself was free to choose to live his life by routine, but Peru proved to him that this was apparently not the case.

Thinking back on the conversation now, Craig realized that he probably _did _believe in Fatalism, just like his paranoid friend, the only difference being that, unlike Tweek, Craig didn't see it as a comforting thing.

Craig reflected on the conversation as he walked towards the coffee shop owned by the parents of the boy in question on a cold Saturday morning. He mentally scolded himself for getting up so early on the one day where he could actually sleep in, questioning to himself what kind of person would do that? Well, he knew the answer to was obvious; ten year olds with _way _too much easy access to stimulants would. And so, he set off for the shop, thinking that if _any _shop in South Park would be open at 8:26 on a Saturday morning, it would be the one owned by the Tweaks.

But, of course, he knew why he himself had gotten up so early. His reflections on the conversation with the blonde had left him restless the night before (which probably explained why he currently looked like shit), and the more he thought about it, the more the idea of it left him wondering why he should bother with anything if it would all work out how somebody else wanted it to anyway. So, at about 8:15 that morning, he had set off, hoping to put the whole matter to rest by talking it through with the caffeine addict who obviously knew a lot more about it than Craig did…

Craig figured Tweek wouldn't be too weirded out by his stoic friend arriving at the coffee shop early on a Saturday morning with the intention of dragging up a conversation that they'd had over a year ago. Well, if he was, he probably wouldn't say anything, so what did it really matter?

As he rounded the corner, Craig found his earlier assumption about the shop being open to be correct, the lights were on in the shop and he could see shapes moving past the windows. It was probably safe to also assume that the little insomniac was inside as well, since he often had to help with some smaller jobs at the shop and God knew he wouldn't be sleeping at this time.

'_It must be fate,'_ he thought bitterly to himself with only a partial amount of sarcasm, rolling his eyes.

As Craig pushed open the door, the little bell sounded, alerting Mrs. Tweak, who was stood behind the counter, to the boy's presence.

'Sorry, we're not open yet- Oh, it's you, Craig!' Mrs. Tweak's face took on another expression upon realizing who the person was, one that was almost completely neutral, which left Craig at a complete loss of how to interpret it. It was situations like this that reminded him of why he hated ambiguity so much. How the hell was he supposed to react when he didn't understand the expression?

Despite his discomfort, he maintained his trademark stoic expression and simply nodded, 'I came to see Tweek and I figured he'd be here.'

'Oh, well, he's just helping out in the store room, I'll let him know you're here. Why don't you sit down in the meantime?' she replied, gesturing to one of the tables around the room, her face now bearing a warm smile.

'Thanks,' Craig mumbled, trying to mask his awkwardness with typical apathy as he took a seat at the nearest table, whilst Mrs. Tweak rapped her knuckles softly against the door to the store room, loud enough for the person inside to hear, but not loud enough to outright startle him.

'Tweek, honey, your friend is here to see you!' she called out to her son, 'hurry and finish your chores up!'

It probably would have been easier if Craig had just gone straight in to see the blonde and tell him himself, but for reasons that even Tweek didn't seem to understand, the store room was completely off limits to anyone who didn't work there. Craig didn't see what the big deal was, it was just a _coffee_ shop, for Christ's sake!

'Huh?' Craig just about heard the muffled voice within say, 'b-but you told me to…O-Okay, I'll…I'm almost done, I'll be out in a minute! Oh, Jesus!'

'He'll be right out,' Mrs. Tweak smiled at Craig with that warm smile, which may or may not have been forced, Craig couldn't quite tell.

'Uh, okay, I'll…just wait here,' Craig replied as Mrs. Tweak nodded and moved back behind the counter, still wearing that maybe-forced smile.

Now, it was no secret that Tweek's parents had not approved of their son's new found friendship with the boy who had put him in hospital (though Craig had even pointed out that Tweek had hit back just as much as Craig had), and this had all finally come to head about five months after the friendship had been established. Craig had dropped by to tell Tweek that Clyde had asked them to meet him at the mall and to walk there with him. Before Tweek could respond, his parents had cut him off and ushered him into the kitchen where Craig could hear them talking in hushed tones. Whilst Craig of course didn't have super hearing or anything like that, his hearing was, admittedly very sensitive and when he heard his own name mentioned, his brow furrowed and he tiptoed carefully towards the kitchen, hiding behind the wall.

Well, it turned out, Tweek's parents did not like Craig at all, as they were trying to discourage their son from going with him and expressing their disapproval towards the boy who (they had heard, probably from the Marshes or Broflovskis) was a bad influence on other children. At that point, Craig, who was pulling his hat down over his ears out of nervousness, had seriously considered sneaking out of the house rather than face the shear awkwardness of the situation. That was until Tweek actually opened his mouth and spoke in voice that Craig had to almost strain to hear;

'L-Look, Mom and Dad, no –gnh!- no offence but I thought it was up to _me _to decide who _my_ friends are, not you.' Craig remembered the shock he had felt upon hearing his friend speak and also how the noise in the kitchen faded into a tense silence.

After a few more tense moments, the normally timid little eight year old took a deep breath and continued, 'And…you know, I like hanging out with him, and the others, even if they do cause me a lot of stress… So, uh…if you need me, I'll be at the mall and…and I'll be back by dinner time!' Tweek finished in a single breath, barely giving Craig enough time to sprint back by the couch and pretend he'd heard nothing before the blonde came storming in, a wild expression of both pride and absolute horror on his face. Well, Craig definitely didn't need any help interpreting that facial expression…

'R-Ready to go?! Ohh, Jesus...!' Tweek practically yelled, not waiting for an answer before he sprinted to the door and flung it open, waiting, twitching, for Craig to exit first.

It was after this incident that Craig's respect for the smaller boy really began to climb up, though it had already increased significantly when the kid everyone knew as being paranoid and twitchy had actually gone ahead with the fight he was supposed to be having with the other kid, the one everyone knew as being apathetic and a bully. The paranoid, twitchy kid had greatly surprised the apathetic bully…

And Craig had decided that that was one surprise he didn't mind…

'Uhh, Craig, can you hear me? Oh, God, what if he's been possessed?! I can't deal with that, I wouldn't know what to do! What if-'

Craig blinked, realizing he'd completely zoned out and tuning himself back into reality just in time to hear Mrs. Tweak reply with 'I'm sure he hasn't been possessed, dear' in that calm, but dismissive tone that parents often used when their kid said something dumb. Or at least Craig's parents did…

Turning his head towards Tweek, who had returned to his habit of wringing his hands (well at least it was less painful than pulling his hair), Craig felt the necessary need to confirm her words to the neurotic blonde;

'I'm not possessed.'

'Well…I dunno! You were just staring into space, man, how the heck was I supposed to know? Ack!'

'Alright if I ever get possessed, I'll let you know, 'kay?'

'Wait, how would you-? Huh?'

'And anyway, it's not like _you_ don't completely zone out most of the time,' Craig countered, though his voice remained level.

'Uhh, dude, I think there's a difference between you and me.'

'There's a lot of differences, that one was a similarity,' Craig replied without looking at Tweek.

'Ngh! Jesus, Craig, you're so weird sometimes!' Tweek growled, to which Craig responded by just staring at his friend for several seconds, 'Okay, fine, me too, that's another similarity! But, the differences are more noticeable!'

'True,' Craig nodded, beginning to feel more comfortable and even smirking a little.

'I'll leave you boys alone to talk,' Mrs. Tweek said, causing boys' heads to turn in unison, 'I'll be in the store room if you need me, okay?'

'Okay, Mom!'

'Okay…Oh! Uh, thanks!' Craig added a little too quickly, immediately cringing afterwards and causing Tweek to raise an eyebrow, though he didn't say anything. Craig's eyes shifted down to the table to avoid the other's gaze whilst cursing under his breath. He felt stupid but he also felt that after hearing Tweek actually defend Craig in front of his parents, which not many would do, the very least he could do was prove to Tweek's parents that their son's words hadn't just been some made up, delusional crap, and if that meant he'd face some painfully awkward moments occasionally, well he'd just have to suck it up.

Craig's brow furrowed, and to anyone else it would have seemed he was glaring. Interaction with others had never really been his strongest point, especially when it was with adults, but he'd made some strong attempts at it for his friend's sake; being polite, looking at them when they spoke to him, keeping his middle finger to himself…that kind of crap.

And Goddammit, his friend had better be fucking grateful! There had been plenty of times where Craig would much rather have responded with his trademark obscene gesture than the forced polite shit he'd been forced to spew.

Tweek blew out a breath once his mother shut the store room door behind her and pulled out the chair across the table from Craig, flopping down with a yawn, 'Anyway, not that I mind, but what _are_ you actually doing here so early? From what I hear, your parents –ack!- pretty much have to drag you outta bed on the weekends…'

'Who told you that?'

'_You_ did!'

'Ohh…' Craig folded his arms on the table and brought his chin down to meet them, wondering how best to begin this conversation without it sounding weird. God knew Tweek couldn't handle weird, which Craig thought was pretty funny since Tweek was probably the weirdest person he knew. 'So…I, uh, I know someone who's…been feeling kinda like, uh, they may be having a -shit, what's the word? - a small crisis…and they think you can help. Yeah, that's it!'

'Wha-? _Me?!_' The look of pure horror on Tweek's pale face was enough for Craig to wonder if maybe this had been a bad idea, 'That's _way_ too much pressure! How could _I _possibly help someone?! I can't even help myself! Oh, God, it's way too early for this-!'

Craig cringed and rolled his eyes at the increasingly heightening pitch of Tweek's voice, opting to bury his face a little further into his folded arms to block him out, whilst the little blonde's paranoia-fuelled rants continued to escalate to ridiculous levels. He seemed to be rambling about his advice causing a nuclear war before Craig finally cut him off in a clipped tone;

'Okay, just breathe, dude! Yes, I meant _you_, Tweek, you _can_ help with this, just trust me.'

A small groan escaped Tweek's lips before he inhaled deeply and then blew the breath out, 'I-I dunno… I'll try, I guess…b-but, I'm not promising anything!' He leaned backwards in his chair with his head tilted back towards the ceiling, but not saying any more. Craig began to wonder if it was safe to continue the conversation, that is, until Tweek's brow furrowed and he lifted his head up and asked, 'Hey, this "person you know", you're not doing that thing where you say you're doing it for someone else, but really it's _you, _are you?'

'Why would you say that?' The menacing tone in the raven-haired boy's voice, along with the fact that he was now sat up straight with a stony coldness in his gray-blue eyes, earned a yelp from the smaller boy, and he jumped back as if he'd been electrocuted with his hands reaching up to pull on his messy hair.

'W-Well, uh, n-no reason, I was just –ack!- wondering, 'c-cause it just really sounded kinda…kinda weird, is all! I-I'm sorry!'

Craig let out a loud, frustrated groan and pulled the earflaps of his hat down, though the frustration was aimed more at himself than at his friend. Readjusting his hat with one hand and nervously playing with its strings, he tried again without the sharp edge to his voice; 'Well, your…wondering may have been right, a little bit, 'kay? So, um…yeah.'

Tweek relaxed a little and loosened his grip on his hair, 'Wha-? R-Really, _you're_ having a crisis?! And you think _I _can help?!' The moment the words were out of his mouth, the grip on his hair began to tighten again, to the point that Craig was concerned about him actually tearing his own hair out, and not for the first time either. 'W-Wouldn't it be -ngh!- better if you asked Clyde or Token? They'd be way better at this than me! This is way too much-'

'Pressure, I know,' Craig sighed as he reached over and gently pried the boy's hand away from his hair, 'Look, I asked you 'cause I think you know the most about this, Tweek. And, anyway, what's the worst that could happen? No, don't try to answer that,' he added when he saw Tweek's mouth open, which made the boy immediately close it again, 'just hear me out, 'kay?'

Though it was incredibly obvious that he _did_ want to argue back, Tweek kept his mouth shut and waited patiently for his friend to continue.

Craig took a breath, 'Okay. So, you remember when we had that conversation ages ago after I back from Peru?'

'No,' was Tweek's flat reply and Craig almost slapped a hand to his forehead, at least he was honest? 'No, but, come on, you're talkin' to the kid who can't remember what he ate for breakfast two hours ago!'

'You always skip breakfast, Tweek, even I know that, and anyway, we were talking about, uh…well, I don't remember what you called it…You said it was when you believe that fate controls everything you do…'

'Fatalism?' Tweek blinked at him and cocked his head, 'Is that what you're talking about, Craig?'

'Yes! Yeah, that!' Craig cried with a sudden, unexpected enthusiasm that made Tweek emit a small squeak and jump back again. 'Uh, sorry. Ahem. Yeah, that's what you called it.'

'O…kay, and why exactly are you still thinkin' about that _now_?'

Craig sighed, 'Okay, I know this is gonna sound retarded, but something about it bothered me…No, no! I didn't mean _you_ bothered me, calm the fuck down!' he added when Tweek's tremors began to intensify.

'W-Well, then what _did _bother you?!' Tweek cried in a shrill voice, folding his thin arms across his chest to cover up an involuntary spasm.

'I…I, uh…Explain it to me. Fatalism. Explain it.'

"Explain it?" You pretty much summed it up yourself, Craig,' Tweek shrugged, letting out a shaky laugh, 'Ack! It's when you believe that everything's already been decided for us, so the stuff we d-do is kinda like…like it was always gonna happen.'

'So that's it, huh?' Craig huffed, propping his elbow up on the table and resting his chin on his hand, 'You believe in it, then?'

'I guess, to an extent anyway,' Tweek frowned, his hands moving to tug on his sleeve in an attempt to suppress his tremors, 'I guess it makes me believe in that whole "God has a plan for everyone" stuff they preach at church.'

'Well…Yeah but, to be honest, if that means what I think, then God kinda screwed us all over…'

'Craig!' Tweek gasped before ducking his head and glancing around himself, as if God was going to appear there and then to strike Craig down. His next words came out in a horrified, hushed whisper, 'Don't say things like that, you wanna make Him mad?! And what exactly did you mean by that anyway?!'

Craig scoffed, 'Relax, dude, I'm sure He has bigger and more important things to be mad at instead of me. What I mean is, if everything's already planned out for us and we can't do anything about it then, what's the point? I mean, by that logic, I shouldn't even bother putting any thought into what I'm doing, 'cause what happens is gonna happen anyway and I have no control over it!'

Tweek's face fell blank and he became silent, which Craig really didn't like. Tweek was one of those people who wore their heart on their sleeve and Craig found that reassuring, it meant he didn't have to work so hard to figure out what was on his mind. So it was only natural that the moment Tweek became expressionless, Craig would begin to feel immensely uncomfortable. It was just too weird and, after all, if he couldn't even work out what Tweek was thinking, then how could he possibly work out what _anyone_ was thinking? It was probably hypocritical of him to complain about people being hard to read, but still…

'Ah. Shit, I've freaked you out, haven't I?' Craig guessed, going by the most common reaction the other boy usually gave, 'Great. Well, fuck, I didn't mean to do that, so, uh, sorry, I guess?'

'Hm? Wha-? Sorry, dude, what were you saying?' Well it seemed Craig's voice had snapped Tweek out of his thoughts since the boy was now blinking at him with wide, attentive and refocused eyes.

'Wha-? Dude, you just completely zoned out on me!'

'Oh, well, uh, I was just kinda thinking about what you said and I must have, uh, zoned out,' Tweek rubbed the back of his neck, 'Happens, y'know? Can't focus for too long. S-Shit, that reminds me, I haven't had coffee in ages!' Craig somehow doubted that, but any attempt to say so was made pointless the moment the jittering blonde jumped up from his seat, nearly knocking it over in the process, and rushed behind the counter where the coffee machines were sitting.

'Uh, c-carry on, Craig, I-I _am_ listening, I promise!'

'I know you are… You know, I don't get why grown-ups get so pissy when you don't look at them while you're having a conversation, seriously, just 'cause I'm not looking doesn't mean I can't hear… Uh, anyway, I said what I wanted to say, I was waiting for _you_ to say something.'

'Oh, right.' Tweek quite obviously began preparing his coffee in a much more precise and deliberate way than he normally would have, which Craig guessed to be to buy himself some more time to either think of a response, or, more likely, to try and remind himself of the conversation. The boy's memory span wasn't exactly the best after all.

'I think,' Tweek began after a moment of deliberation, 'that just maybe –ah!- you're thinking about it a little too hard. I mean, sure, when you put like how you put it, it sounds kinda, uh, bleak? I like to think of it like –ngh!- God made a plan for us, but He also gave us freewill, so we…we have choice and our choices are gonna guide towards what God wanted. Ahem, o-or at least, that's what I think- Uh, yeah… D-Do you want some coffee too?'

Now whilst it was true that Craig was no longer quite as vocal as he once was, though if invited into a conversation, he would gladly speak whatever was on his mind regardless of whether or not the actual words sounded insensitive (whether he meant for them to be or not). The simple reason for this was that he'd finally learned that it was sometimes better to simply keep his mouth shut, a lesson he'd been slow and reluctant to learn. And yet, despite this, he would always have _something_ to say, taking childish pleasure in pointing out the flaws in other people's logic and reasoning, especially adults who annoyed him…

But right now, for the first time in his life, he had _nothing _to say. It wasn't so much the _words_ that left him speechless, it was the fact that they had been spoken by a kid who, as far as anyone could tell, was terrified of his own shadow and never spoke a word unless he had to. It was honestly no wonder people were constantly stepping on eggshells around him.

'C-Craig..?' Tweek's tentative voice broke through Craig's thoughts and dragged him back to reality, in which he found Tweek's pale face was searching his own with his green eyes darting around as if he were afraid Craig's features were going to distort into something terrifying. Clutched in his shaking hands was the cup of coffee he'd just made for himself, which was in serious danger of being spilled right now, and Craig couldn't help but wonder just how long he'd been out of it for.

'Still not possessed,' Craig smirked, 'and, uh, I've never tried coffee, so, no thanks…'

'Never tried it? You sure you don't wanna try it?'

'No, I don't really like to try new stuff. Food and drink, that is, fuck!' He added in a breath, muttering curses under his breath, 'and, sorry, I guess _I _zoned out again that time. Just thinkin' about what you just said.'

Tweek paled, 'Oh, God, why? Did it sound weird?! Ngh! Jesus, I should just keep my mouth shut!'

'No, no! Actually you gave me something to think about, I guess. But…I dunno, I guess I just don't like the idea of just going along with what someone else wants for _my_ life.'

'W-Well, like I said, we _were_ given –ack!- freewill, so…it's not like God's got His hand on your back and is pushing y-you towards something, He wants you to get there on your own…'

'I suppose that makes sense…' Tweek frowned and cocked his head at the somewhat dejected tone hidden in Craig's deadpan voice and allowed his fingers to drum along the table as the boys' conversation descended into an uncomfortable silence.

'Okay!' Tweek's sudden, loud exclamation earned a rare yelp from Craig, which he immediately tried to cover up with a cough, not that Tweek paid any attention to it; he had already rushed over to the little refrigerator where the cold drinks were kept. That was one thing about Tweek, even if he noticed you acting weird, he'd never say a word about it, maybe because of how weird he acted, it was something that Craig greatly appreciated, even though _he _wouldn't ever say anything.

'What are you doing?' Craig asked, once he recovered from the shock, the annoyance ringing out loud and clear in his voice.

'G-Getting you some juice, you drink that right?' When Craig nodded, the blonde continued, ''Cause it seems like _you're_ the one freaking out for once, Craig, and I have a feeling we'll be talking –ah!- about this for a while and I don't want you to dehydrate, oh, God!'

'Huh?'

Tweek smiled as he came to sit back down opposite the confused boy, 'Well, y-you tried to make out like this whole thing wasn't a big deal, b-but, dude, it's pretty obvious that this is some –gah!- something that's been bothering you for a while, I mean, Jesus, over a year!_ I_ don't even freak out over the same thing for that long! I've got no chores left so we can argue about the meaning of life well into the afternoon, if you like, heh!'

Craig blinked, furrowing his eyebrows and taking the juice bottle that Tweek offered with a small smile playing on his lips, 'Okay, I guess, let us continue to discuss topics that ten year old boys should not even give a flying fuck about.'

Tweek just laughed and took a sip of his coffee, whilst Craig came to the realization that, just maybe, he didn't mind surprises that much when they came from his paranoid, twitchy and _surprisingly_ insightful and observant friend.


End file.
